6 Ways to Exceed Your Expectations

#1 ~ Avoid the Perfection Trap

At a seminar I attended in Los Angeles the presenter provided an analogy I’ll never forget. He first explained that many people fall short of their goals because they wait for ideal conditions and perfect projects before they move forward. He then said, “These people are like the runner who positions himself at the starting line.” And he moved into place as if to run. The presenter then said, “On your mark” and he dropped to a runner’s stance and squatted. “Get set.” The presenter looked eagerly forward and moved into a final pre-race runner’s position. Then he froze while repeating, “Get set. . .Get set. . . Get set. . . “

His point was well made and well taken. Too many times I have been like that runner, carefully planning and preparing but reticent to take action because I wasn’t totally ready or circumstances weren’t exactly perfect. Can you relate to this? Suggestions to avoid the perfection trap:

Replace: “I expect it to be good, but not perfect.”
Focus Forward: “I’m pleased with excellence without perfection.”

Write an affirmation card that says, “I’m a relaxed person who can let unnecessary things go. I practice moderation and toleration.”

A study, completed in 1996, at the University of Georgia, concluded: “Those who believe they will fail to achieve their goals are unhappy, but so too are those who believe they will exactly meet their goals. Those who are happiest believe they will meet some of their goals and will receive satisfaction from multiple aspects of their lives.”

#2 ~ Reconcile Yourself to Obstacles

On your journey toward goal achievement, realize at the outset that you’ll encounter obstacles and challenges on the way. Indeed, distractions, delays, detours and disappointments are part of the process of becoming. Few things worthwhile are achieved without effort and struggle. Hours may be long, complications profound, and frustrations many, but your strength of character is defined by your ability to overcome.

#3 ~ Learn from Failure

Each time you encounter a setback, refuse to allow it to affect your self-esteem or your momentum. Instead, ask valuable questions:

What can I learn from this?
How will this help me become a better person?
Was this the result of poor efforts, unrealistic expectations or circumstances beyond my control?
Did I cause this problem? How?
What can I do to improve?
< How will me become better a help>< Was result of poor efforts, unrealistic expectations or circumstances beyond the my>< Did cause problem?>How can I avoid a similar problem in the future?

You may also consider whether psychological issues contributed. Students of the mind understand that our beliefs and mental powers significantly shape the nature of our experiences. While your projects will vary and your work environment may change, you always take your belief patterns wherever you go. For that reason it is imperative that you analyze, as dispassionately as possible, whatever contributions you may have made to your own failure and to your perceptions of the experience.

There is value in failure. The value lies, in part, in its ability to reveal elements in your personality never seen at other times. After all, anyone can succeed when he’s surrounded by loving people, a supportive environment, and interesting projects. It’s in the face of obstacles and failure that weaknesses and strengths become obvious. Losing to an adversary may expose weak interpersonal skills and rejected proposals may reveal mediocre job skills. Failure tests our character, resolve, optimism and our ability to respond in positive ways. Without minimizing the disappointment, we really only have two choices regarding our response to failure. We can either allow it to impede our progress, or recognize that within each failure are gifts: something to learn and an opportunity to grow. And within each person is the ability to take failure and use it as a stepping stone to success.

Before setting out to achieve new goals we should ask ourselves questions about past failure. “Why haven’t I reached the goals I created in the past? Why have I failed? What’s holding me back?

While you’re evaluating past failure, obey two rules:

Rule Number One: Don’t Blame Others

Rule Number Two: Only analyze past failures to learn from them.

Rule #1 Don’t Blame Others

There is futility and negative consequences in blaming others, and rewards in using your agency to choose positive paths. Think about taking all the energy previously used for blaming/resenting others/ heaping piles of guilt on yourself, and spending that energy in a positive way – like focusing on achieving a highly-defined goal! Imagine the results! Again, there are prerequisites for this: First, a belief that you can do it. Second, a desire. Third, consistent effort. But oh…the pot at the end of that glorious rainbow is living an extraordinarily happy life!

Additional thoughts on blaming others:

“Nobody is a real loser – until they start blaming somebody else.” John Wooden (one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time)
“The longer you dwell on another’s weakness, the more you infect your own mind with unhappiness.” Hugh Prather

And Glenn Van Ekeren contributed three short stories:

A man placed on a strict weight-loss program gave in to temptation one morning and bought doughnuts at the bakery. When asked why he cheated on his diet, he said it was God’s fault for opening up a parking place right in front of the bakery as he drove by. When all else fails, some people blame God!

The coach of a high school baseball team became frustrated with the performance of his first base player. Error after error made it difficult for the other players to have faith in him and winning games depended on his improved performance. One afternoon the coach grabbed a glove and headed for first base to show the player how it should be done. The first ball that was hit toward him took a bad hop and clobbered the coach in the chest. Next came a popper just outside the first baseline. Lost in the bright sun, the ball glanced off his glove and hit him in the forehead. Then a wild throw from the shortstop caused the coach to dive, splitting open the seat of his pants. Exasperated, the coach turned to his first base player, handed him the glove and shouted, “You’ve got this position so messed up, even I can’t do a thing with it!”

A mother brought her two arguing children together and demanded they make immediate amends. The siblings hesitantly apologized to each other, and then the younger commented, “I’m apologizing on the outside, but I’m still angry on the inside.”

True forgiveness roots out negative beliefs. It doesn’t bury the hatchet while allowing the handle to remain exposed. Although this is challenging, nonetheless there is a requirement to let go of blame, resentment and negative feelings from the past if you are to move forward unencumbered; free of the backwards-pulling negativity that prevents progress.

Rule #2 – Only Analyze Past Failures to Learn From Them

The only reason for looking backwards at your mistakes is to help you become a better person – by learning what did and didn’t work. For example, if you were fired from a job, it’s healthy to ask why. Perhaps financial troubles caused the company to cut 200 jobs; it had nothing to do with your skills. However, maybe you were fired for a personal reason that you need to evaluate carefully.

When assessing your strengths and weaknesses, one of the best things to do is talk with a trusted friend or relative, someone whose opinion you value. Spend time with that loved one and take an honest look at where you are and where you want to be. Talk about how you perceive your strengths and weaknesses, and ask for his honest opinion. Discuss why he thinks you haven’t reached previous goals. Then, listen with an open heart, never taking offense. Write down his ideas, and consider using them to help you determine your goals.

Another way to learn from past mistakes is to analyze the following areas relative to your weaknesses and strengths. Ask yourself questions to:

A. Help you understand what has held you back
B. Learn from past weaknesses
C. Prevent past mistakes
D. Turn weaknesses into strengths

And then create healthy, forward-focusing statemetns that will help you progress.

Psychological (thoughts, words and actions)

A Question: “What thoughts/words/actions have kept me from my goal?”
Statement: “I think positive thoughts and only do that which takes me toward my goals.”

B Question: “What bad habit should I eliminate?”
Statement: “I can stop procrastinating and begin following through right away.”

C Question: “What mistakes have I made that I can learn from?”
Statement: “I’ve used negative self-talk and that’s hurt me. Now I think only positive thoughts about myself and others.”

D Question: “What weakness can I turn around and make a strength?”
Statement: “I’ve been too critical of others. Now I look for people’s good qualities.”

Environment ~Home, Work Space, Recreational Environment

A Question: “What circumstances do I put myself in that make it difficult to succeed?”

Statement: “I create an environment that helps me reach my goals.”

B Question: “What can I learn from my past weaknesses?”
Statement: “I’ve always had a huge “snack” when I got home from work, and now I eat a piece of fruit and then wait until dinner.”

C Question: “What can I do to prevent mistakes?”
Statement: “I put a lock on the refrigerator.” (Just kidding) “I have my fruit snack waiting and a note to remind me of my resolve, until it becomes a habit.”

D Question: “How can I turn my weakness into a strength?”
Statement: “I use lots of positive reinforcement and partner with caring loved ones who help me reach my goals.”

Relationships ~ Romantic, Family, Business, Social

A Question: “What people in my life weaken me? Who strengthens me?”

Statement: “I surround myself with people who help me reach my goals.”

B Question: “I’ll list the people who pull me down and who lift me up.” (Write their names down)
Statement: “Since I know who weakens me, I don’t associate with them. I only associate with people who strengthen me.”

C Question: “Can I prevent mistakes by associating only with good, strong people who truly care about my well-being?”
Statement: “I prevent mistakes by associating with people who truly care about my well-being. I avoid all others.”

D Question: “How can I turn past relationship failures into strengths?”
Statement: “I know what doesn’t work with relationships, and I know what does. I only do those things that contribute to healthy, peaceful relationships.”

As you’ve moved through this article, you’ve spent some time examining what’s held you back, and you’ve looked at things that have possibly prevented you from achieving past goals. If you took the time to do the exercises above, you’ve questioned your limiting beliefs and you now have the skills to move forward.

#4 ~ Don’t Give In to Worry

Sometimes when we encounter setbacks we allow those experiences to prevent us from enthusiastic forward movement because of worry and anxiousness. We allow failure to discourage us and shake our self-beliefs. Have the strength of character to refuse self-recrimination. Rather, spring back with a healthy rebound after defeat and realize that worry is like a rocking chair: it keeps you busy, but it doesn’t get you anywhere!

All outstanding achievers share one trait: they are convinced of the importance of their goals and they pursue them with great tenacity, refusing to allow anything – including failure and concern – to keep them from success. Reserve your precious energy for a laser beam focus on your goals.

#5 ~ Schedule Time to Review Progress

Set aside a regular time each day, week, month and year to review your goal progress. When goal review is a normal part of your schedule it’s easier than if you have to “work it in.”
Use your “Review Progress” time as a brief routine checkup (your yearly review may take longer), not as an exercise in faultfinding. Daily progress will usually be negligible, but greater progress is obvious when reviewing past weeks, months, and years.
Have an objective and subjective measurement for each goal. An example of an objective measurement:
- Daily: “I called three more contacts today than yesterday.”
- Monthly: “I sold six more products this month than last month.”

For subjective measurement, ask yourself,

How do I feel about my progress?
How is my attitude?
How strongly am I committed to my goals?
What is my confidence level?
- Daily “I am more confident selling than I was last week.”
- Monthly: “I’m really proud of the progress I’ve made!”

#6 ~ Goal Affirmation

Affirmations to improve your self-beliefs, such as I Am Joyful and Confident, differ from Goal Affirmations because they talk about self. Goal affirmations address your positive beliefs concerning your goals. These statements describe the emotions you feel when you reach your goal.

Goal Affirmations are beneficial as they help you create the picture images in your mind that become like real experiences. They also impress the goal over and over on your subconscious mind which virtually guarantees goal achievement.

Twice each day (morning and night) you should read and say your Goal Affirmations with conviction. These statements are written as if you’ve already achieved your goals. Remember, your subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between reality and something imagined in great detail. Your Goal Affirmations serve as visualization tools to help you create a “real experience.” Combine that with acting as if while you’re diligently pursuing your goals, and success will be yours! Here are several sample Goal Affirmations.

There are three things to remember when writing Goal Affirmations. Use:

Personal pronoun (“I”)
Present tense verbs (“feel”)
Emotion words (“pleased”)

“Work Goals” Goal Affirmations

To be more appreciated “I feel good when my boss congratulates me for my excellent work.”
To be more influential “It makes me happy when my boss asks my opinion.”
To be more competent “I’m pleased when I see the good work I’m doing.”
To be more creative “My creative imagination is one of my best talents.”
To be more efficient “I feel great when I finish my work quickly and efficiently.”
To get promoted “I am thrilled that my boss offered me the new position.”

“Physical Goals” Goal Affirmations

To be more attractive “I am delighted when I look in the mirror.”
To be healthier “It’s great to know that I’m almost never sick.”
To weigh more or less “I feel fine at 129!” Or, “I feel great at 208!”
To be more physically fit “I like the way my body looks and feels.”
To have more energy “It feels super to have so much energy!”
To be stronger “I’m happy to know I can lift my own body weight.”

Successful people have control of their lives, with clearly defined goals and purposes that they affirm. They know where they’re going and they don’t leave things to chance, but make life happen for themselves and their loved ones. On the other hand, so many people seem to have a weekly goal of simply “making it to Friday,” so they can “celebrate” on the weekend.

A goal-seeker’s greatest hope is to not only achieve the goal but to exceed it. For example, if your goal is to be more influential at work, you’re most happily surprised when the owner invites you to be the new vice president! Those who follow these strategies discover that their fondest dreams become realities. Then, the next step is to set new goals and move up to the next level of living.

DAILY ACTION PLAN

MORNING

Immediately upon arising, go to a special place in your home where you can spend just 5 minutes relaxed and quiet as you imagine achieving your major goals. Imagine, in great detail, accomplishing each goal. Envision your relief and joy as you reach each goal. Project your mind forward to success.
As you get ready for the day, read the positive thoughts, power beliefs, and affirmations on the 3×5 cards posted in your bathroom. They’re like this:

I create positive, healthy changes in my life.
I am joyful and confident.
I feel great at 128.
I am a highly successful salesperson.
I enjoy meeting people and selling product that I believe in.

3. Make a “To Do” list of things you intend to accomplish that day. Be sure and add the items you didn’t accomplish the day before. Write your list in small, do-able steps. Set a time limit for each item, if you wish.

DURING THE DAY

Do the most important things first and cross off each item as you complete it.
Focus on listed tasks only; don’t get distracted. Delegate all you can.
Throughout the day be positive, grateful, and imagine success.
No matter how busy you are, do one thing (even if it’s small) for yourself, and one kind thing for someone else.

EVENING

Take 10 minutes at the end of the day to repeat Morning Step 1.
As you get ready for bed, repeat Morning Step 2.
Right before you go to sleep think thoughts of gratitude and love

Research Note: Successful people spend at least fifteen minutes every day thinking about what they are doing and can do to improve their lives. (Niven, 1998)

~ Dr. Paula

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