Three Things Parents Should Tell Their Children Every Day

Do you remember holding your first baby for the first time? Were you struck, almost immediately, with an acute awareness of your infant’s helplessness? I remember feeling incredibly humbled, and a little overwhelmed, by my new responsibility for the life of another human being. Although normal, for some of us those feelings don’t diminish with time and experience.

I have seven children, living now in six states. My oldest son is serving as a Special Forces Medic in Afghanistan. These grown children are all successful, and living joyfully. They know how to love, laugh, and live well, in spite of the fact that each one has faced incredible obstacles in their lives.
What can parents do to strengthen their children’s character and help them achieve success through the years? One suggestion is to tell them three things, every day, that will mold their character and help them become kind, caring and productive adults.

Just like the accomplished sculptor can take a piece of clay and – day by day – create a work of art from his careful attention to every part of the design, I believe that daily parents can add to the inherent goodness in their children.

I suggest three things parents should tell their children, every day. Like the sculptor’s efforts, voicing these ideas to our children will to help them feel, in the innermost recesses of their beings, that they are loved, they are appreciated, and they can contribute to the world in meaningful ways.
First, and foremost, say “I love you.” Every day.

These words are magical in their effectiveness to assure children that, in spite of misbehavior or mistakes, they are loved. Children need to know that. They need to know that our love for them isn’t predicated on good grades, winning a race, or even on their obedience. Children shouldn’t feel the need to “earn” our love; they should feel confident that they already have it. Additionally, children need to know that nothing will diminish our love for them. Yes, we may not like their behavior at times, but that shouldn’t affect our love for them. Parents need to kneel, if necessary, and look directly into their children’s eyes, and say, “I love you.” Every day.
Second, tell children they are appreciated. How good it feels to hear the words, “Wow! Look at what you did….that’s great!” Each day parents should tell their children, “I appreciate the way you…..” Or, “Thank you for the good job you did with….” We should look for things to sincerely appreciate.

William James, well-known American psychologist, wrote a book on human needs. Years after the book was published, he remarked that he had forgotten to include the most important need of all – the need to be appreciated. We should create an atmosphere of appreciation in our families by overlooking the negative and “catching” one another doing good things.

Imagine yourself trying to learn a new game. You’ve been told the rules by an official, and you are now on the field ready to play. The game begins and you start playing the way you think you’re supposed to, when suddenly the official blows the whistle and calls you over. The official explains what you did wrong. You were trying your best to play by the rules, as you understood them! The game begins again. However, the action is again stopped almost immediately, and the official gives you a warning. Imagine this is repeated each time the game is started. You would quickly begin to feel frustrated, and you may decide the game isn’t worth playing, because your honest efforts to play by the rules aren’t appreciated. Is this perhaps how our little children feel? They try so hard, but in spite of their best efforts, they make mistake after mistake. How much better it is to acknowledge their every good effort, and shower them with appreciation.

Third, encourage progress toward their goals. How is this done? Talk to your children like this: “I like the way you’re reading your book! That’s going to help you reach your goal of becoming a better reader.” Or, when your child speaks nicely, say, “It’s just like you to talk so kindly to your brother! You’re helping with our family goal to have more peace in our home.”

During my 30 years of parenting, I’ve learned that goals are seldom achieved unless they’re discussed frequently. The first step is to meet as a family and set long and short-term goals. Second, actively work (individually and as a family) on reaching those goals. And third, regularly evaluate your progress and set new goals when you’re ready. Working toward worthy goals is one of the primary ways children become productive adults.

Let’s review the daily doses of love and encouragement that help create happy, successful children:

1. “I love you.”
2. “Thank you.”
3. “You’re making good progress!”

Latest posts by Dr. Paula Fellingham (see all)

312 thoughts on “Three Things Parents Should Tell Their Children Every Day

  1. Pingback: tizanidine 2018
  2. Pingback: merck covid
  3. Pingback: aralen canada
  4. Pingback: aralen indication
  5. Pingback: baricitinib covid
  6. Pingback: cialis take effect
  7. Pingback: drugs online
  8. Pingback: natural ed cures
  9. Pingback: best drug for ed
  10. Pingback: stromectol ireland
  11. Pingback: ivermectin 1 cream
  12. Pingback: canadian pharmacy
  13. Pingback: foods for ed
  14. Pingback: cytotmeds.com
  15. Pingback: valtrex 1g price
  16. Pingback: ed drugs list
  17. Pingback: buy cialis drug
  18. Pingback: cialis in europe
  19. Pingback: propesia
  20. Pingback: propecia libido
  21. Pingback: priligy ordonance
  22. Pingback: iui clomid success
  23. Pingback: albuterol 0.083
  24. Pingback: cialis 10 mg
  25. Pingback: sumatriptan cheap
  26. Pingback: zkxwxuna
  27. Pingback: estradiol canada
  28. Pingback: buy permethrin
  29. Pingback: buy amitriptyline
  30. Pingback: venlafaxine coupon
  31. Pingback: oxybutynin pills
  32. Pingback: tolterodine prices
  33. Pingback: warfarin generic
  34. Pingback: cialisis
  35. Pingback: clozapine purchase
  36. Pingback: olmesartan uk
  37. Pingback: donepezil online
  38. Pingback: tadalafil 10mg otc
  39. Pingback: order sildenafil
  40. Pingback: buy zestril
  41. Pingback: zanaflex australia
  42. Pingback: voltaren cheap
  43. Pingback: vantin price
  44. Pingback: toprol 50mg nz
  45. Pingback: tenormin tablet
  46. Pingback: spiriva nz
  47. Pingback: skelaxin online
  48. Pingback: cheap seroquel
  49. Pingback: how to buy robaxin
  50. Pingback: revatio 20 mg nz
  51. Pingback: cheapest reglan
  52. Pingback: pyridium pharmacy
  53. Pingback: procardia purchase
  54. Pingback: viagra
  55. Pingback: nortriptyline nz
  56. Pingback: meclizine tablets
  57. Pingback: imuran tablet
  58. Pingback: her latest blog
  59. Pingback: viagra coupon
  60. Pingback: imdur purchase
  61. Pingback: generic cialis
  62. Pingback: essay helper app
  63. Pingback: cost of flomax
  64. Pingback: elavil 25mg cost
  65. Pingback: buy doxycycline
  66. Pingback: diltiazem price
  67. Pingback: differin pills
  68. Pingback: diamox 250 mg usa
  69. Pingback: ddavp 0.1mg prices
  70. Pingback: nursing thesis
  71. Pingback: crestor tablets
  72. Pingback: buy coreg 12,5mg
  73. Pingback: order cleocin
  74. Pingback: school assignments
  75. Pingback: cbd oil products
  76. Pingback: cbd oil in ohio
  77. Pingback: quick loans in pa
  78. Pingback: pay day loans
  79. Pingback: abc car insurance
  80. Pingback: geico car ins
  81. Pingback: e insurance auto
  82. Pingback: casino slot
  83. Pingback: casinos online
  84. Pingback: best online casino
  85. Pingback: real online casino
  86. Pingback: claritin cheap
  87. Pingback: cipro tablet
  88. Pingback: cheap cephalexin
  89. Pingback: ceftin tablet
  90. Pingback: ceclor 500 mg uk
  91. Pingback: cialis samples
  92. Pingback: mymvrc.org
  93. Pingback: buy cialis
  94. Pingback: tylenol otc
  95. Pingback: viagra for sale
  96. Pingback: generic ventolin

Comments are closed.